Chapter 9
“Please，let the Concubine of Xiang Dong offer tea to the elders,” announced the female officer who was in charge of etiquette.
I held the tea bowls carefully, avoiding any mistake.
Ding took my tea, and she looked at my face carefully. Finally, she said, “Qifu has a good eye. You are great!”
I was surprised. Did he pick me himself? According to the regulations, the concubines of the princes were chosen by the Emperor’s concubines from the noble families. So I was an exception?
She sighed and continued, “When Queen De was still in charge of the harem, I was serving her like you, carefully and nervously, but she still disliked me. . .”
“Older Sister, you and I were both serving her in that manner,” my mother-in-law said.
“So, are we boasting before a new wife? My younger sister?”Ding smiled at her. Though she was complaining, she still kept her dignity and humility, even when she said those bold words. She amazed me.”Sister，do you remember when you were pregnant with the Prince, she asked you to pound five buckets of rice each day? If she had a long life, how could we survive?”My mother-in-law became angry when she recalled these kinds of memories.”Sister，this kind of comment is not respectful. May the Buddha forgive you. . . Amitabha. . .”Ding was surprised by her and tried to persuade her.
My mother-in-law sneered slightly and said no more.
I did not know how to react, so I kept my hands steady as I served the tea to my mother-in-law as if I heard nothing. She did not reach for the tea.
Ding sighed. “It s not easy to be a concubine, especially in a tradition with strict regulations on your morals. Even the queen herself did not obey the law of not being jealous.”
“Forgive my indiscreet remarks, Sister; my heart was so hurt by the past. Now I will not be.”
“Anyway, look at you now. You have a daughter-in-law to serve you. In years, a grandson will come to bring you some fun. What a happy family!”
Some tears rose in Ruan’s eyes, and she took out a silk handkerchief to sweep them away.
“Why not take your daughter’s tea?” Ding urged her.
She finally took the tea, and I put down my sore arms and relaxed.
I was not unresponsive. Their dialogue appeared they were talking about their own bitterness, but the real purpose was to say this to me. When I realized this, I felt uneasy in this atmosphere.
As I expected, my mother-in-law instructed me after taking the tea, saying, “Since I have accepted your tea, I have no other choice but to treat you as my daughter. I hope you remember your position, to assist your husband and keep all the rules of a royal family. Bring offspring for him, and do not be envious of any women he has taken or may take in the future, or you may disgrace our royal family.”
I was shocked by her command. So the bad weather on my way here had spread throughout the palace? So my mother-in-law hated me. How could I win her heart?
Ding smiled with satisfaction, and she started to read aloud a Buddha maxim: “‘If you have not put your heart in quietness, then all the outside substances are in quietness; if you have put your heart in quietness, all the feelings and emotions should be in quietness’. Nevertheless, keeping your heart in quietness is the most important thing.“
I took all my grievance back, and answered obediently, “Pei follows the Precious Senior Concubine’s advice. Pei follows my Mother Concubine’s advice.”
Before I left, Ding gave me a string of jade Buddhism beads, instead of a jade ruiyi or bracelet. Maybe she wanted me to believe in the Buddha with a heart as sincere as her. I knew this was a warning, asking me to take an oath to obey the royal rules. And I heard later from other maids in the palace that my good deed of saving the nun Kongyue also added marks to my personality when she heard of the story. Kongyue did help me when she had the chance to say good words about me.
Now I felt the difficulty of being a member of the royal family.
For a whole day, Xiao Yi took me to greet the father, his concubines, the Prince, other brothers and nephews of Xiao Yi, and the elder sister of the Emperor, the princesses of the Emperor, etc . . . I could not even remember who was who in the end. When all the meetings finished, the Emperor granted a family dinner.
By the time Xiao Yi and I were back in our mansion, he was drunk. I knew he enjoyed all the meetings to show his beautiful new wife, me, and our affection to his relatives. So drinking too much was understandable.
I helped him to sleep on the bed, and went to wash my face. Suddenly he yelled, “Xiao Zhengde, you gangster, there is no room for you to speak anything!”
Xiao Zhengde? I remembered that man with a pair of cold and doleful eyes, disturbing everything in the darkness.