Chapter 17
The sentimental mood of parting was perfectly interpreted by Furong’s song, so that any person who listened to it seemed to be in it. I didn’t know why he wanted to listen to this song. Maybe it was because he was a prince who was in an insurmountable high position and nothing could fill his loneliness.
When I stumbled back to my room, I was cold all over.
Bing was anxious, and all the maids in the room were trembling. When they saw me drifting into the room like a shadow, they felt released, and asked, “Where did you go just now? We are very worried about you. The soup had been heated, but now it is cold again. What should we do?”
I shook my head, and said, “Let all the people have their leave. Bing, you can take your leave, too. I want to just be quiet for a while.”
Bing had more to say, but when she saw my pale face, she finally sighed and left.
I fell to the floor. The feeling of my heart being ripped was so painful. My tears fell silently on the soft and exquisite brocade, which was embroidered with the pattern of two mandarin ducks tumbling merrily about in the water.
In the dark, it seemed that there was an invisible force roughly tearing at my whole body. I struggled desperately. The pain all over my body was like the feeling I felt in the ice water last time. It was numb, swollen, unable to breathe, unable to get rid of the feeling of paralysis. The candle on one side swayed enchantingly, like the golden snake spitting out its slender tongue. It seemed to be trying to devour everything in the world.
My tears were frozen. Despite this, I sweated all over. I was burning all over, as if there were burning flames around me. I closed my eyes. I wanted to shout, but when I opened my mouth, I was unable to shout out.
“Concubine . . .” The voices of Mingzhu and Bing rang in my ears.
Hadn’t I been burned to ashes yet? But my heart had turned to ashes and immediately vanished with the wind in the dawn of the endless hazy world yesterday.
I opened my eyes. I was still alive.
“Ah, you are awake. That’s great," Mingzhu said nervously. "It’s all my fault that I didn’t take good care of you and let you catch a cold. Your body is burning terribly. I’ve sent for a doctor.”
“Mingzhu,” I said somberly as I reluctantly got up, “don’t tell the prince. Neither of you can tell him. Did you hear that?”
“But, Concubine . . .” Mingzhu hesitated and dared not speak more.
Bing looked at me sadly, and she finally stopped insisting. She brought the basin, picked up the towel, and helped me wash up. I looked at her gratefully with a smile at one corner of my mouth.
I struggled to sit up completely. Then I put on a stylish hairpin, clothed myself in a floral dress, and insisted on penciling the beautiful arched eyebrows. Although I felt physically exhausted, there was a voice in my heart telling me to persevere. Bing put on a purple cloak for me. My sick face reflected this pure and graceful purple, which added a little melancholy.
Mingzhu and Bing helped me to the room used for embroidery. I silently picked up the embroidery needle, but my eyes were blurry. I said in my heart, It is almost finished. There were eighty-eight words of “happiness” and ninety-two words of “longevity”, and it was almost done.
“Ouch!” A sharp pain in my finger made my attention come back to the moment in an instant.
“Concubine, it’s bleeding!” Mingzhu screamed. She bound up the wound for me at once. Bing said through her tears, “I know your heart is bitter, but you can not torture yourself. . .”
The red blood slowly flowed down the fine silk and integrated into brocade. The dizzying color swayed in front of my eyes. The circles of golden flowers and the endless darkness pressed heavily on me, and finally, I fell completely unconscious.
When I opened my eyes again, Xiao Yi’s anxious face appeared in front of me. My hand was being held tightly, and a warm feeling slowly came through me. The terrible and painful searing feeling had disappeared.
I just wanted to say, Xiao Yi, I am your wife; do you know this?
“Pei, you must be tired. Our mother will feel your filial piety.”
I didn’t know that Xiao Yi had seen me when I fainted, and had been carried back, so everything I had done was clear. At that moment, he was so angry that he stared at the maids and shouted at them. He personally administered the medicine to me and I swallowed it. So there was a bitter taste still in my throat, and it remained there.
“Qifu, the status of a prince is very important. Please remember that I will be there with you,” I said, just a few words in my quasi-sleep.
“Oh, my God! Pei, you’re weak and talking nonsense.” Xiao Yi really didn’t understand my heart.
“No, no. . .” I wanted to say a few more words to him. Although we were very close, our hearts were far apart. Xiao Yi, listen to me. I wanted to go into your heart; did you understand?
“Give me water, Mingzhu.” Xiao Yi had a fine voice, but unfortunately, I couldn’t hear the voice in his heart.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s okay. . .” I kept repeating this sentence.
“Alas.” He sighed. “You need to have a good rest. I will be there for you.”
When my hand touched his, I was shocked. Then I immediately woke up.